Making the Switch from Crib to Toddler Bed

When is the right time to make the big switch from crib to toddler bed?

I insisted upon doing it now at 15 months old. I didn't have any real reason to switch other than being tired of having her in a crib. She is 25 pounds... not a lot, but maybe for a 15 month old, so she is fairly heavy. I am tired of lifting her in and out of the crib. I also want to be able to kiss her good night once she's laying down beneath the blankets. A crib makes this impossible... so I have only been kissing her finger that she holds out to me to kiss each night. (Cute huh?) So, while my reasons for moving to the toddler bed are minor, they were good enough to start thinking serious about it.

I asked my husband what he thought about the idea. He was extremely helpful...  He says, "What does the book say?" I'm thinking, "Are you kidding me? What book? Parenting is a step by step, follow the instructions book?" Yeah... my husband is hilarious.

I posted my thoughts of our new transition on Facebook... and only received negative feedback. Don't do it because of all the obvious reasons I have already thought about... :/ Mainly that she will be able to climb in and out of her bed as she pleases. Oh and I will regret it. I am thinking that this means I should keep her in a cage for the rest of her life. In which case, I'll stick to my own parenting style!

So after three nights and three nap times of sleeping toddler bed style, we've had our achievements and struggles. She went to bed perfectly the first two nights. She laid right down and fell asleep to her music and stars-on-the-ceiling night light. No fuss. No climbing out. Angel baby. Last night, however, we had a little difficulty. She climbed out of her bed after I laid her down for the first time (of many to come, i'm sure). I laid her down again and shut off all the lights in the house. She runs out of her room again. And one more time. The fourth time, I sat next to her bed for about 10 minutes and she fell right asleep.

My sister warns me that she might be doing good now but just wait until the terrible twos. We will find out what happens when the time comes. For now, I'm happy to be able to tuck her in better. :)

My Baby is Afraid of Sand

Does anyone else have this problem? My baby is deathly afraid of sand, which means it is very difficult  to get her to play on the playground and at the beach.

I found out about this strange fear of sand when I let her go down a slide at the park. She slid down and plopped off the edge of the slide into the sand. She screamed bloody murder and scrunched her body into a ball, trying to get away from the sand. I picked her up and sat her in the grass... and like I guessed, she stopped crying instantly. I picked her up and tried to set her in the sand again but she was so afraid. There were other kids around who tried to show her that sand is not scary, but soft and fun to play in. She did not care. She didn't want anything to do with it. 

We, also, went boating this past weekend. We stopped along the Grand Traverse Bay and anchored the boat to swim and play at the beach. I brought Miss A to shore and set her down in the shallow water. She screamed! It was very awkward because there were several other boaters/swimmers around who turned to stare at us. Miss A is NOT afraid of cold water or getting splashed. The sand squished underneath her feet and it scared her. I had to put our skim board down for her to sit on so she could play in the water without touching the sand. 

My mom and sister worked with her on the fear for quite awhile. My mom got her to scoop the sand out of a bucket with a shovel. 

She was having fun until I put a handful of sand by her feet. Then she was done with the sand. She screamed and cried...

We have a long way to go on concurring this fear of sand! We are going to work on it a little bit at a time. I hope it will dissolve in time... Maybe by next summer she will be okay with sand?

Update the following summer: Miss A is no longer afraid of sand! We took her to the playground to test it out. She had no shoes and dipped her toe in the sand and said "EEWW!" I told her, "It's okay!" and she repeated "It's okay!" and overcame her fear just like that. =) 

Pregnancy Symptoms Still Here After Miscarriage

I had my second miscarriage at five weeks pregnant, one month ago.

I still don't have much emotion about the whole event. The only problem is that my body is still out of whack. I feel nauseous and tired all the time. I've had a couple days where my moods were almost uncontrollable. Yesterday, for example, I was irritated all day for no reason. It is the worst feeling. My poor husband was probably fed up with me. I cried in irritation because gravy spilled over the edge of the bowl in the microwave. Also, because my online job application froze up. I breathed through the emotions but it barely helped. (I'm assuming it's PMS...?)

I have heard that pregnancy symptoms can remain with you for several weeks after a miscarriage. Though, I have also heard that the ceasing of pregnancy symptoms is a definite sign of a miscarriage. This is causing me confusion, especially since I am still waiting for my regular menstrual cycle to return again. I am wondering if I really did have a miscarriage (like I believe whole heartedly to have had). It sure seemed like a miscarriage with the cramping and passing of tissue. When I told my doctor, he said that I did not need to have a follow up appointment since I miscarried really early at five weeks. I only have to return if I do not get my period and/or I have unusual symptoms like fevers. 

If I am still pregnant, I would be devastated because I have drank several times this past month. I honestly don't think I am still pregnant, but my nausea is tossing me in the dark. I am confused. I am desperately waiting for my period to come... I know this is a complicated issue and that no one can really help because every person goes through a unique experience. SO I WILL RESUME WAITING... for time to tell me what the heck my body is doing. 

I Want To Find My Passion

I haven't wrote about anything in awhile. It's not because I don't want to, rather, it's something along the lines of writer's block combined with an emotional-purpose of life meltdown. I've been feeling guilty about not writing or posting anything spectacular (or semi decent) so I need to ramble about my thoughts a bit to find a new path.

Before I begin, I have to complain about this itchy, hot wrist brace I am wearing because the doctor diagnosed me with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. After every sentence I type I pause to adjust it and persistently tell myself not to take it off. (As for the wrist issues, I will be okay as long as I take my medicine and wear this brace for a month.)

So. Deep breathe.

I am looking for my passion and trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do in life. I want to figure out what it is that I truly want for my life. I have many dreams and wishes. You could call me a dreamer. I want big things in life and I expect them to happen. The reality of it all is that I need to figure out what I want most because many of my dreams contradict each other. I need to focus my motivation on only a few of them at a time so some of them can actually come true.

Here are some of my passions, or powerful emotions towards things. For the sake of finding my real passion, I will not limit my thinking to what I (or someone else) will presume to be unattainable.

• I want to become a Foreign Service Officer and work at embassies around the world as a Consular officer. 
• I want to be a photographer for a magazine like National Geographic or a photographer for my own big-named, inspiring blog. 
• I want to be an excellent interior designer and make every room in my house have the most beautiful atmosphere ever. 
• I want to own my own farm with cows, ducks, and honeybees. I want a large garden and a barn full of well taken care of cats. I want a dog or two. I want to make our own amazing organic spices, sauces, and products out of our own raw materials. This hobby will turn into a fairly large business. 
• I want to own two homes; one in Michigan and one in western Europe. 
• I want to be entirely fluent in French, Spanish, and several other languages. 
• I want to be well known for piano and vocal performances, even if only in a few towns because I performed at the local coffee shops. 
• I want to be "free" from my emotions and more in tune with my body through many long mediation retreats. 
• I want to figure out the meaning of all my dreams. (Physical (?) dreams that I have while asleep.) I intend on finding hidden truths about life in some of them.

Any and all passions I pursue must and will make room for my family's passions too. 

My Passions: Traveling, Photography, Blogging/Writing, Interior Design, Animals, Languages, Music, Meditation, Dreams

Looking at my shortened list of passions, I see an odd one: interior design. I have one room in my home that I am absolutely proud of (see) and it passes my scrutinizing test of what I feel a beautiful atmosphere should be like. However, most of my rooms do not pass this test and I daydream of ways it could be better. When I attempt these hypothesized solutions, I fail and my rooms remain ugly. So to say that interior design is a passion does not feel right because I'm not good at it. 

Then I look at my other passions again... I realize it isn't what I am good at that matters, it is what I focus on and dream about that matters... duh. Clearly, I am not amazing at photography or writing, nor am I trilingual or a yogi master but I still enjoy these things. 

Ramble Ramble Ramble. In three minutes it will be 2:00am. Did I just waste a couple minutes of your life reading about my passions and boggled thoughts? If you are a family or friend, maybe not, but you, unknown reader, are the one I am always worried about when writing on this blog. I wonder how I can gain your attention by posting about my family and personal life. I need to find my passion so I can stop worrying about this. I love sharing stories about my beautiful Miss A and new family, but I have many ambitions. 

I will sleep on these thoughts. Good night. 

Wordless Wednesday: My New Camera

My step mom is letting me use her old camera, a Nikon D70. Coolest Thing Ever! Here are some shots I took this week. [Oh and don't judge too harshly photo experts, I have a LOT to learn still!]

Miss A swinging... camera lit her up in such a cool way!

Miss A's precious little hand, holding on tight! 

Blurry, but I thought Miss A's little baby hand was too cute!

This is definitely the coolest picture I've ever taken of a tree in the sunset!

Flying Bird

Storm is Brewing

 Pretty flowers that my step mom also gave to me. <3

This was a very random "wordless" wednesday but I was really excited to share some pictures. I'm so excited to finally have a nice camera to take high quality pictures for my blog and personal keepsakes!

5 Naughty Behaviors of My One Year Old

For the most part my one year old daughter isn't too much trouble (yet!) but she does have some annoying behaviors she insists upon doing all. the. time! And boy do I get pissed off every time she does them... She intentionally does these things just because she wants to... and because she knows it is naughty and is trying to make me lose my mind! (Little brat :P )

Naughty Behavior #1: Opens Shower Door While I'm Showering

In our master bathroom we have a stand up shower with a glass door that Miss A insists upon opening and closing all the time. She likes to play in the wet shower. That's not so annoying. What IS annoying is that I never get to take a peaceful shower. She insists upon opening the shower door while I'm inside... which gets water all over the floor, which makes me cold, which makes me say NO firmly, which makes Miss A cry and scream and flail her arms... This repeats over and over until my shower is done.

Naughty Behavior #2: "Helps" With Dishwasher 

Every time I empty the dishwasher, Miss A grabs for the silverware and sucks on them. She reaches for the sharp knives, the hard plastic straws, and she'll even take out the silverware holder and place it on the floor. I always put away the sharp knives first but man, she is fast! Sometimes she takes out the silverware and hands them to me. I tell her Thank You and explain that I have to put away the clean dishes... like she understands. She cries and wants the silverware back. It's a nightmare putting away dishes.

Naughty Behavior #3: Pours Water Out of Tub

Every single bath, Miss A has to pour the water out of the tub using her big cup I use to rinse her off. I try to hide it from her but I usually leave it in the water after pouring it all over her. She is too fast and usually ends up pouring a full (large!) cup of water all over the bathroom floor.  Fun times. She also throws all of her bath toys out of the tub too... I should just get rid of her bath toys. Hmmm...

Naughty Behavior #4: Hits My Computer/Keyboard

When I'm on my computer, Miss A comes up to me, looks at me with an evil blank face, and while still maintaining eye contact, she slaps my keyboard. She totally knows what she is doing and that I don't like it. Then she continuously hits the keyboard over and over causing my computer to go into chaos mode and do a whole bunch of weird things that I can't undo!

Naughty Behavior #5: High Pitch Scream in Car Seat

Exactly as your read. She screams in a really loud high pitch scream for no real reason in her car seat on car rides. This is a new behavior that she recently started that I HATE. Oh my goodness child... Of course the scream has to be high pitch. Of course the only solution is to take her out of her car seat which is impossible because we need to go somewhere. 

How ever will I survive???? It could always be worse I guess! At least she doesn't suck on cords, pull out the DVDs, or bang her head on the floor yet.

Can anyone relate to my experiences??? :)

Confessions of a New Mommy

I have been a new mommy for almost one full year now! How crazy is that! While I have enjoyed most of my journey through motherhood, I have some confessions for you.

I am still unable to change a pooped diaper without gagging or holding my breathe.

I stopped using cloth diapers when Miss A was 7 months. 

I admit that disposable diapers are easier to use and cloth diapers stink. 

I don't wash the pacifier when it drops on the floor. Most of the time, I just pop it back into her mouth. 

I really miss breastfeeding my baby.

I ended up "drying up" because I supplemented too much formula. Instead of breastfeeding longer, I wanted my sleep and alcohol again.

My baby gets her temper from me.

I started teaching my baby sign language but failed. She does know how to sign "milk" though.  

We haven't eliminated cursing from our home yet. I hope she doesn't say F*** ever.

I feed my baby the healthy stuff on my plate that I won't eat... cooked carrots & peas. 

My social anxiety is significantly eased by bringing my baby with me places.

I never knew children were so incredibly cute until I had my own. 

I am afraid of the day my baby no longer wants to give me hugs & kisses. 

I can't imagine going through nine months of pregnancy, labor, extreme sleep deprivation, and on and off battles with post partum depression AGAIN, while taking care of a newborn AND a toddler. YET, I am still excited about having a second baby. <3

Tacky, Ghetto Curtains for Baby Room

Please forgive my title, "ghetto curtains" but this is the one of the most ridiculous things I have done in interior decorating! We moved into a trailer and have been here for almost two months already. My daughter's room had not been touched and her floor had been covered with all her toys, blankets, clothes, and curtains since day one.

Clearly it was time for me to get my lazy butt up and do it. So I cleaned up her floor, which took less than 30 minutes and all that was left to do was the curtains. Somehow we lost the curtain rods during the move. Of course, I didn't feel like running to the store or postponing the task, so here is what happened.

Check out how I rolled up the bottom of the curtains and quickly safety pinned them up. 

 

Check out the best part. I tacked the curtains to the wall.

 

 

So whaddya think?

These curtains are Eclipse Energy Saving Curtains.

Looks fairly decent huh? Or does it look like I bolted my daughter's bedroom window shut? Either way, it's staying like that for at least a month or two or ten because it keeps most of the light out of her room, which ensures long naps and good sleep into the morning. :)

Hope you were inspired by my tacky, ghetto curtain bedroom get up.

:P

Mommy Has A Blue Face

When I was younger my mom had a large collection of colorful, nice smelling face masks that she shared with me. I've always enjoyed experimenting with different masks and then taking crazy pictures of myself. If you are a close friend, maybe we have done this??? (LOL) Face masks ALWAYS make for good times during a girl's night.

Anyways, it's been way too long since I've used a face mask so I decided that tonight was the night to bring back memories! I started smearing blue mud-like gunk all over my face when I realized I might scare Miss A with it on...

I quickly brought her into the bathroom with me and told her "Look Miss A, Mommy has a blue face!" She watched me cover my face entirely in blue... She didn't just casually watch, she GAWKED. And I mean, she stared at me like I was fricken out of my mind!

 But hey, she didn't cry right? That's all that matters.

What I'd Do If I Was Childless and Single

I had exciting life plans.

1. Peace Corps
2. Teach English in Taiwan: Bill & I actually submitted our application for a program the same day I saw two lines on the pregnancy test.
3. Master's Degree Abroad: Quebec, France, or Belgium for a degree in something "international"
4. Work in National Parks across the United States
5. Extensive Meditation Retreat in China (The 3-6-9-12 month long meditation retreats.)
6. Internship in Foreign Service in Washington D.C while furthering my education
7. ANY JOB OUT WEST
8. ANY JOB OUT OF THE COUNTRY 

 Don't you be fooled. I'm not missing out. Look what I have instead.

Mommy & Baby all dressed up with pretties! <3

Pretty little Miss A at 10 months old

Mommy & Baby Snuggle Time!

Pure Sillyness

We are B.A.

I have the cutest, prettiest, sweetest, naughtiest (:P) baby girl AND a sexy, crazy, funny husband. Now we can make new exciting life plans together as a family. Besides, I'd be too lonely out there in the world by myself anyways.

Miss A just came to me a little bit ago to climb up on my lap, snuggle a bit, and then fall asleep. She is so ridiculously adorable that I could have let her sleep on me all night. She must have sensed I was writing about being childless and single. What she just did was exactly why I wanted to become a mother in the first place. That is my favorite thing about my life. 

Do You Experience Mother's Intuition?

I hear my baby cry (in my head) right before she actually cries in real life. This has happened on several occasions since she was born. We have some eerie, unexplainable, mother-daughter connection. I'm sure you have heard the phrase, "Mother's Intuition". Let me tell you that there is no way to describe what it is happening so you will just have to take my word. It exists. I'm not sure if fathers experience something similar but this connection is genuine and not limited to just genetics.  

Earlier today I experienced this connection (for the hundredth time). We were both enjoying a lovely afternoon nap. I semi-woke up and just laid in bed until I heard my baby cry in my mind. A split second later, my baby woke up and cried. A SPLIT SECOND LATER.

This happens so often!

Usually I wake up from a dead sleep early, early in the morning and think about her crying. A split second later, she cries. She doesn't always wake up to stay up, but she will cry and wake me up (before actually crying) and fall right back asleep. It is the strangest thing ever. I find it very fascinating. My husband tried telling me that my baby had already been crying, which is why I thought about it... and then the baby cried a second time. Bologna. That is not what happened.

I ain't be no charlatan fool! 

I have a superpower that was given to me at the time of my daughter's conception. Okay, so the exact time is debatable but even before I saw the two lines on the pregnancy test, I knew I was pregnant. I KNEW IT. Sometimes, mothers just know and there is no scientific explanation for it. Let's leave it at that and enjoy our special bond we have with our children.

Has my experience happened to you? Feel free to leave your own personal stories in the comments below. I find this subject highly interesting!

Daydream of Becoming a Farmer

If there is one thing I love about my small town in west Michigan, it's watching the breeze slightly roll across the many rows of farmland behind the main strip of town. We went on an hour long bike ride today along the back roads and it was very peaceful. Miss A was being a sweet little girl riding behind me silently playing with her toys. Bill was up ahead. My eyes drifted to the fields of young grains and some kind of row crop just beginning to sprout. It was then when I instantly got lost in a daydream of becoming a farmer.

I'd grow wheat and other grains and learn to make my own bread. I'd grow several different fruits and vegetables... peppers of every color, some spicy, some not... several tomatoes, corn, a variety of herbs... I've always loved the fall festivities so I'd definitely grow pumpkins, squash, and other random gourds. If I grew those then I'd definitely have to become a beekeeper to get my favorite thing in the world-- honey. Alongside the garden and away from the bees, I'd have to have my own cow or two for milk and hopefully learn to produce cream and butter as well. Not sure the whole process for that but if I had a cow, I'd have to grow hay using its manure to fertilize the crops... Watching a plant's first sprout to blooming and producing its fruit is actually quite fascinating... Then of course you're rewarded for all your hard work and effort with delicious homegrown meals and a surplus of food for the next seasons. 

You can tell I'm good at romanticizing simple things in life. Though I have always been in love with nature, I have never truly understood the beauty of farmlands until today. All that hard work put onto a piece of land to grow and produce something so valuable is a priceless experience. The only feeling that comes to mind is from the song, Fly Over States by Jason Aldean.

Right now my own garden consists of red and green peppers, jalapenos, habaneros, cucumbers, red and yellow tomatoes, strawberries, cilantro, oregano, chives, and pineapple mint. I have all the herbs potted in individual pots so they are easily transportable into my home come wintertime. So my garden is pretty small right now but I have some exciting goals once the fruit grows. I hate the taste of plain tomatoes but I planted three tomato plants to experiment making homemade salsa with my peppers, cilantro, and possibly some with pineapple mint. I'm also hoping to have enough cucumbers to make my first fermented dill pickles. (It would have been smart to plant dill too... Hmmm I will have to buy some of that too... Not too late!)

My small, (rocky) garden

Redskin Pepper

Oregano

Pineapple Mint, Cilantro, Chives (check out the flowers on the chives...pretty cool!)

It's obvious by looking at my pictures that I have a LONG way to go on my journey to becoming a farmer... but everyone has to start somewhere right? I would really love to make my garden bigger and bigger each year until it eventually turns into a substantial amount of farmland. I would have my own big, cool, green John Deere tractor/ big agricultural machinery to be non-specific............

It's very unlikely that this will happen though because I also have dreams of living in a small town in the middle of the mountains out west somewhere... And in southern California close to the ocean... In Europe... Taiwan... Southern Florida... Southern France... Anywhere else besides Michigan...

What can I say? I'm a dreamer.


Note to those not from Michigan: Michigan is fabulous. You can't ask for a better state... Rare to have major tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, (blizzards are nothing and always a blast)... Beautiful Great Lakes... Four seasons of fun... Porcupine Mountains... Mackinac Bridge/Island... Lots of camping... Beautiful scenery... and much, much more. I just have an urge to explore new places.

Miss A's First Big Girl Step!

Not only can my ten month old Miss A...

super speed crawl,
smother me in a million huggies and kissies (maybe just two or three),
wave "hii" and "bye bye" (even to strangers),
say Mmmmmm after eating all of her fruits and veggies,
stand up in the middle of a room all by herself,
make it through day long trips to flea markets, garage sales, and shopping malls,
play patty cakes and mime the itsy bitsy spider,
say ducky, quack quack, baba, mama, dada, doggy, kitty, bye bye, ball, stop, paci and button,
point out every single button on your clothing and then manage to lick it,
wiggle her shoulders and dance to any music,
and create extremely disgusting poo pooed diapies,

BUT she can also officially take a step now! She took her VERY FIRST STEP last night! She was being really silly and constantly standing up and laughing. I held out my arms to her and she moved her tiny little foot towards me... and voila, A STEP!!! I covered her face in kisses and picked her up high in the air! This moment totally made my whole night and so much more! I'm definitely one proud mommy. <3

While this is all extremely exciting... it does mean that our first little baby girl will soon be walking. WALKING... like a real person. She is growing up way too fast. I already miss her being a little tiny baby... she is getting so big already. I cannot believe it. It feels like just yesterday when Bill and I were putting Miss A on her blankie for tummy time and then when we had to place pillows all around her so she could sit up and play with her toys without falling and hurting herself... *sigh*deep breath*wipe tear*silence*..... Moving on.

So my Miss A is pretty talented if you ask me. My opinion as her mommy might be biased... but I don't think so! She's one talented little cookie taking her first big girl step!

Poem: Losing My Grandma

At first there was nothing
Just the thought of deep sorrow,
Concern of feeling numb to the pain, 
Agony of being unable to cry

Months and months pass but still nothing
Only the harsh realization
She is dead
My grandmother is dead

I will never see her again
Not in this lifetime anyway
And I'm only twenty three years in
What if I'm stuck another seventy?

Unfelt emotions begin to surface
Intense pain and depression sink in
I force a couple of tears
Has she really disappeared forever?

A thunderstorm of rage erupts
Gut wrenching aches spread like fire
I scream into my pillow
Feeling hopeless for my own survival

Soon enough nausea forces the storm to let up
Fatigue tricks my body into sleep
The dark clouds are clearing away
And my heavy mind disappears

I wake to a shocking silence
The eerie peace of the eye has come
Confused by the previous night's outburst
I continue on once again with nothing

—Monica


Read my first reflection on Losing My Grandma.

Miss A's Nine Month Check Up!

I don't know what took me so long but I finally brought my camera to the doctor's office for Miss A's nine month check up. This check up was particularly good because she wasn't going to get any shots! Thank God!

Miss A is currently 31" (which not only means she is off the charts for height, but her car seat is no longer suitable/legal!) She weighs 20lbs. She is one healthy baby girl and I am one proud mommy!

I LOVE THE CHILDREN'S CHECK UP ROOMS! This time she had a lovely blue hippo! :)

Working Mom Likes Work (Is that wrong?)

[Hello! I am currently on a coffee high right now and my precious daughter is napping. Double Score! I want to spend some time thinking about... something important.]

I constantly have people asking me if I'd prefer to stay at home with my baby instead of work. The truth is that I enjoy working. I enjoy time spent outside of the house.

It's not that I don't like spending time with my baby because I definitely do. I am just not one to stay cooped up inside each and everyday. I have always kept a very busy schedule. During high school and college, I participated in several activities at once... piano lessons, sports, meditation club, work, internships, class, etc. I am just used to multitasking (or at least I was). Having a baby was some type of enlightening experience for me. My only task is to care for and love my baby. Nothing more. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that babies cause you to be cooped up in the house all day long, despite what it feels like. Babies can be taken anywhere you go--- out to eat, to the park, zoo, grocery store, etc. But they do require feedings and naps every couple hours. They do require entertaining, time, work, and energy.

People like to guilt trip me. They ask, "Don't you miss spending all day with your baby?" I respond bluntly, "Nope. I like the break. I also love my work and all the people I get to see." I have given up on explaining myself because it is pointless. Sometimes I just respond with a simple "No." I like to cause drama I guess. It doesn't really matter what I say though because I always end up feeling guilty for the rest of the day.

The two loves of my life <3

This is a really dumb topic when you hear my work schedule. I work part time. I only work 35 hours a week for one to two months at a time. Out of the whole year, I work maybe four months. In Miss A's life thus far, I have worked three out of her nine months of existence. I am very lucky to have so much time with her. I know this but when people hint at the fact that I'd rather work than be a stay at home mom, I feel insulted. I feel like I am a bad mother when really I am not. Working allows me to spend more quality time with Miss A rather than just being home with her all day. If I am with her all day, everyday I grow restless and the time spent with her isn't as exciting as the time I have with her after I get out of work. When I come home from work, I am very excited to see her and I smother her in hugs and kisses. I tell her how much I've genuinely missed her and then we get time to laugh and play. The weekends are more enjoyable because I get two whole days to be with her. Working makes me not take the time we have together for granted. Also, when I am at work she is never with a random babysitter. She is always with either her daddy or grandma. Working gives Miss A more quality time with other members of the family.

Granted, I am not working my "career" full time job yet, I know things will change. Maybe I won't like longer work hours and I'll feel like I don't get enough time with Miss A later. But for now... my time commitments balance out.

I don't like people making me feel bad about myself. Duh. And I don't like people telling me how to live my life. I have a million dollars in student loans to pay off. And I also have my own life to live as well as provide a good path to success for my daughter. I just want people to respect the way I choose to live my life. If it bothers you, get over it and live your own life please (and thank you).

It's funny because the people who complain have children and work themselves. Go figure.

ARE YOU A WORKING MOM? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BALANCING FAMILY & WORK TIME?

The Worst Change Since Pregnancy: Strong Gag Reflex

Besides the normal pregnancy/motherhood changes that I will mention only to send my complaints out into the world... (pause)

I still have stretch marks.
I still lactate. (I stopped breastfeeding almost five months ago.)
I am permanently sleep deprived. 
My brain no longer cooperates like it used to. Read here for a failed attempt at explaining myself.
Due to toy overload & my 9 month old's undeveloped cleaning abilities, I cannot keep my house clean.
 
(resume) ... I ALSO have the worst gag reflex ever now! This is the real reason for my post. I NEED to complain about this because I just do not understand it. It is so bad that I constantly presume to think I am pregnant with a second child! And with all the chaos of sorting out my life with my first baby, that thought is not a happy-naked-baby-floating-on-clouds-with-bunnies thought. It is downright terrifying.

My symptoms consist of the normal gagging at the sight or smell of unpleasant things like curdling baby formula left in a bottle for three weeks or dog poop squished between your toes. But also the thought of unpleasant things...

Miss A ate something off the floor today, gagged, and vomited it up right in front of me. I ran, while gagging, to get a cloth for her and my carpet, and then instantly had to run, teary eyed and gagging, back to the bathroom... When I regained my sense of composure, I came back and realize she gagged on a piece of old salami... that she threw on the floor many many hours earlier. Needless to say, I ran back to the bathroom. Thankfully I have only threw up a few times with these gagging episodes. Usually I just get all teary eyed and upset my stomach. 

Often, I just feel nauseous/gaggy (Can I say that?) for no reason at all. Today I literally gagged without anything unpleasant in mind or sight. I ate my healthy dinner at 4:30pm and around 7:00pm I was gagging for fun. I laid down while Miss A napped because I felt slightly nauseous (from gagging?) and it took all my effort NOT to gag while laying down in bed. What is my problem?

List of Reasons I Gag (pleasant huh?)

• Nasal Dripping in Back of Throat
• Excess Phlegm
• Spoiled Milk
• Scent of Bananas (too powerful)/ Other Strong Scents
• Changing Dirty Diapers
• Watching Amelia Eat Catfood
• Watching Anyone Eat Something Gross/ Raw Eggs
• Some Meat/ Too Much Meat/ Nasty Ground Beef/ Raw Meat/ Red Meat
• Eat Too Much/ Eat Too Little
• Brushing Tongue
• NOTHING AT ALL

Just writing this post is making my stomach queasy. I am not exaggerating either.

Now I didn't have the perfect, strong stomach before but gagging was NEVER an issue until my first trimester of pregnancy hit me full force. I wasn't the pregnant lady who threw up every morning, but I was the pregnant lady who gagged dozens of times throughout the day. SO... VOILA-- GUESS WHAT-- My strong, powerful gag reflex has decided to stick with me on my battle through life. I'm so lucky. I told my doctor about this when I saw her four months ago but I was recovering from bronchitis so she said that I would most likely get over it. She was helpful. AND WRONG! (LIKE USUAL!) Oh my bad, that's another issue.

But hey-- life is good! At least I have a cute little baby girl now... to gag at every second of the day.

:P 

Banana Time!

We have been working on solid baby foods with Miss A. She looovvesss bananas and really everything else except for Gerber's Cheesy Broccoli/Carrot Mush. It's weird because I always assume anything with cheese has got to taste better!

Miss A is a pro at the "banana eating" task now, so I thought I'd flatter her by announcing her new big girl abilities with glamor shots.  ;)

Banana Time!

I love this picture on the left. It's hilarious! "Nuummmmmmmmmmmmm Banana...."

Blahhh!

Husband got forced to work three 12 hour days in a row.
I never see him anymore.
Baby did NOT sleep well last night... woke up every hour crying.
Turns out baby is sick. Running Nose. Cough. Red Cheeks. The Whole Works.
Husband comes home at 5am again tonight.  (Started work at 5pm.)
I work tomorrow at 8am.
Grandma can't watch baby til 12:30pm tomorrow.
Can't bring baby else where because she is sick and we don't have a formal babysitter to pay. 
I'm forced to call off work for the first half of my day tomorrow. LAST NOTICE. Can't call in til morning.
[Probably contributing to the reason women are discriminated against in the workforce.]
Been only partially successful cuddly & comforting my crying baby all day and night.
Bought a pack of disposable diapers for $40 today, accidentally. [Thought they were only $20.]
Too late to return them because we broke open the box & changed baby's diaper before paying.
Feeling guilty for not using cloth diapers for an entire month.
Disposables make her poor little bum bright red from diaper rash. gDiapers are much better with that issue.
Feeling guilty for giving up baby sign language.
[I still sign bottle, diaper, clean, dirty, more, I Love You, Water, and All Done... but what's the point if no one else does.]
Barely have time to reflect on how my own life is not going in the direction I want it to.
I'm stuck, feeling hopeless, and giving up on my own life.
Praying for sick baby to sleep through the night tonight.
Praying she is all better by morning and that I'm not sick.
Unlikely. 

Mommy Loves Yoga

My mind is calm and clear. All of my stress and worries have disappeared. I feel as if a button was pushed to completely refresh my body. I have waves of calming sensations pulsing steadily throughout my body. I am totally chill. And I LOVE IT.

How did I achieve this awesome state of being?

Yoga Cat doing one of my FaVe positions. I own this 2012 calendar too. I am a freak, I know. LOL

I just finished a session of Yoga X from my P90X workout program. It is an hour and a half long session focusing on flexibility, coordination, and balance through four different sections. It includes Moving Asanas (flowing transitions between poses), Balance Postures, Floor Poses, and Yoga Belly 7 (abdominal/core work). Yoga X is intended to be more intense, which is probably why it is so lengthy. My goal is not to convince you to try Yoga X but to urge you to try yoga in general if you haven't already. This is one of the few ways I can bring myself back to reality and gather my composure when the pressures of motherhood, family drama, and life stresses hit full throttle. Somehow I am able to gather my remaining strength and focus in on moving and breathing my way through the various yoga positions. It is almost like I both "zone out" and concentrate on perfecting the poses during the workout. I get a huge relieving wave of sensations and just utter calmness within. I can't explain the feeling entirely but it is awesome!! It's definitely some form of (much needed) meditation.

I'm not sure why I never wrote about yoga during my pregnancy but I did do prenatal yoga workouts throughout my entire pregnancy. I was determined to calm my mind for my developing baby (Miss A who is already 9 months!) I wanted to create a relaxed, peaceful atmosphere for her, especially since I (like many!!) had many major emotional meltdowns. I practiced different yoga moves like the infamous Kegels during squats to help prepare my pelvic floor for child birth. Also there are many poses to alleviate lower back pain like Cat Pose and also to help with circulation and sciatic nerve pain. For pregnancy, I can't recommend a better workout! Well maybe swimming... that relieves you of your massive body weight! :P

But I think yoga is especially ideal for mothers who need a personal time out from everything after a lonngg day of crying babies or lazy husbands. (hehe :P) The people who tend not to like yoga are those that haven't had much practice with workouts that require flexibility and coordination. This is not a reason to steer clear of it though! I promise that with practice you will learn to move through various positions and reap the mind clarity benefits as well. Don't make the mistake of thinking yoga is for lazy people, because you do get a GREAT workout. It may seem boring to those who don't like to meditate or move slowly through workouts, but all I can say is to just give it a chance.

IT IS AWESOME.
This mommy loves yoga because it is the ultimate cure all. The panacea for ALL life stresses.

May sound extreme but I swear it is true. I guess you won't find out until you try it for yourself!