First Seven Hours Away From Oliver

Today, I finally allowed myself to take a break away from my 10.5 week old little Oliver to hang out with friends. I went downtown for Laughfest in Grand Rapids to watch Sinbad's comedy act. I was away for a total of SEVEN HOURS! Seven FULL hours! This was the first real separation we have ever experienced. I have been breastfeeding him 100% of the time with the exception of maybe five or six (breastmilk) bottles total. That means I am always with him, pretty much every two hours of the day to feed him. I was a little nervous being away for an extended period of time because I had to make time to pump and maintain a regular schedule for "milk-expression". I was really anxious about leaving him during his feedings. I did not know how it was going to work out. I ended up being super prepared and followed a strict schedule.

• I nursed him right before dropping him off to my moms. 
• I pumped on the way to the event. 
• We ended up eating and having a drink at a couple bars downtown first. 
• Before the show, I went to my car and pumped. 
• On my way home, after the show, I also pumped. 

When I returned home, my son had only drank 6 ounces.... I PUMPED 11 ounces! That is what I call SUCCESS! And my pumping schedule compared to his feeding schedule was exactly coordinated so I was prepared to feed him at his next feeding. Awesome! I have to practice this extended hours of separation a couple more times before I go back to work full time. One of my biggest fears is losing the ability to breastfeed my son before he reaches one year. I do not want work messing that up. As of now, my husband and I only plan to have two children. That means that this is supposed to be my last child. (I say supposed to be... because you never know what the future holds.) Regardless, I am keeping my goal! 

Not only was I nervous about creating problems with breastfeeding, but I was also nervous because I find it hard to trust anyone. My mom is about the only person I trust right now to watch my son. I don't want him to have any food except for breastmilk and I don't trust anybody else to follow that rule. That rule means he is not allowed to have just a taste of any food... whipped cream, mashed potatoes, regular milk, juice, pop... nothing. No formula. JUST breastmilk because he is only 10.5 weeks old and does not need anything else. I have a new goal with this second baby to only give him breastmilk for the first six months. No tastes of any food until he reaches six months of age. I asked his doctor and she said that was a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do. 

The trust issue is also because I am scared someone else will do something to hurt him accidentally. They may be perfectly capable to babysit but I am paranoid because he is so little. As soon as he reaches three months old on April 1, I will try my best to relax a bit more and allow him to be babysat. I need mental preparation in order to go back to work and not worrying 100% of the time. Sounds impossible but I did fine today while he was with my mom. Anyone else and I just might have a panic attack. 

Anyways-- our seven hour separation was wonderfully refreshing. It was also a really nice feeling to hold him when I got back home. His big sister was helping take care of him the entire time we were away. She helped feed him and keep the milk off his face and clothing. So far, it has been very relieving that she genuinely loves caring for him and playing the role of big sister. I hope she keeps up the compassion and love for him for a lonnngg time! *My fingers are crossed so that jealousy doesn't kick in anytime soon!!*

My Experience Consuming Caffeine During Pregnancy & Breastfeeding

I did not consume any caffeine when I was pregnant with my first child. I cut out all caffeinated coffee, tea, and pop for the entire duration of my pregnancy. I continued a caffeine-free diet after my pregnancy too while I was breastfeeding. Everyone, including my doctor told me that it was best not to consume any caffeine because it could have negative consequences for the baby. So I listened... for the first baby... 

This past pregnancy (my second child), I ignored that advice. I drank coffee almost every morning of my pregnancy. I did not consume a lot, maybe 2-4 cups per day. I was a little nervous about doing it but coffee works like an antidepressant for me. I really feel that it helps me be a better, nicer person (and mother!). I am sure I am not the only one that agrees with that statement! As the time grew nearer for my baby to be born, I started to feel paranoid that my baby was not going to sleep because I had consumed too much caffeine. Once he was born, I continued to ignore that fear and I drink my morning cup of coffee. 

Funny thing is that both of my babies had about the same sleep schedule and similar behaviors. They both required feedings every 2-3 hours around the clock for the first month, into the second month. I believe my second baby (where I consumed caffeine) slept longer earlier than my first baby. He currently sleeps 6-8 hours in a row starting when he turned two months old. He occasionally sleeps less, but the sleep schedule fluctuated a little with baby #1 too. I reread my old blog post, Sleepy Mommy & Daddy Pictures, to find that my first baby started sleeping 8 hours in a row at 10 weeks old. Both babies were/are not colicky. They cry when they need a diaper change and when they are hungry. That is pretty much it. 

Therefore, based on my experience, drinking caffeine while pregnant and breastfeeding has no effect on the baby. I am not a doctor, nor am I promoting caffeine use during pregnancy! I am just stating my personal experience for those of you who are also feeling guilty about consuming caffeine during pregnancy and breastfeeding. 

Best of luck to all you mamas! =) 

Product Review: Ameda Purely Yours Breast Pump

View on the Ameda Purely Yours on Amazon.

The Ameda Purely Yours breast pump retails around $160.00. My insurance company actually covered the cost of the Ameda Purely Yours breast pump in full but I was highly disappointed. This breast pump is very inefficient. It fails to create suction over half of the time, pumping little to no milk at all.

I like that this pump is lightweight and easily transportable. I like the ideas behind the Ameda Proven Airlock Protection technology. According to their website, Ameda has the world's only breast pump kit to provide a protective barrier to prevent air flow between expressed milk and pump tubing. This allows for milk purity.

Unfortunately, the silicone diaphragms do not inflate and deflate properly. This is essential to create suction and express milk. I was constantly removing the top caps in the middle of pumping in order to deflate the diaphragms entirely. The pump would work for one or two more suctions before I had to undo the caps again. I checked for rips and tears in all pump parts and ensured that all parts were completely dry before use. It did not help. I do not know why the pump worked one session and not another. I was even told that a lactation consultant did not recommend this specific pump. (Unfortunately it was a little too late though!)

This pump caused a lot of unnecessary stress for a sleep deprived mother, in pain from engorged breasts. I ended up in tears multiple times trying to get this pump to function properly in the middle of the night. I ended up giving up entirely after one month and acquired a Medela Pump in Style Advanced breast pump, which was a huge relief. I am not receiving any compensation to promote Medela but I highly recommend Medela breast pumps for mothers who plan to breastfeed and work full time.

Breastfeeding Mistakes: Learning From My Past Experiences

I want to give my children the best start possible. That is why my breastfeeding goals are the recommended first full year of life. I was unsuccessful with my first baby, breastfeeding for only five months. I significantly lost my milk supply during the fourth month because of my own errors. I was new to breastfeeding as a first time mother and did not truly understand what was required to maintain a steady milk supply. I am slightly embarrassed and feel guilty about the mistakes I made with my first child. My second baby is definitely getting the better deal as I am more experienced... and more mature!

My first mistake was introducing the bottle too soon. I was so ready to drink again that I decided to introduce the bottle at only two weeks of age.  There was no issue with nipple confusion, like some babies experience but I really started to enjoy the breaks that bottle feeding offered. I started bottle feeding with breast milk. That alone will not necessary decrease your milk supply. However, it is necessary to pump if you give your baby a bottle.

The second mistake was introducing formula. I don't remember exactly when I introduced formula to my first baby but it was within the first month. I did not keep a large milk bank in the freezer for babysitters so I let them use formula. I also had easy access to formula because I could receive it free from the WIC program. If you supplement with formula, it means you are not using your milk supply; therefore your body does not produce the exact amount of milk needed to nourish your baby. Your baby completely controls the amount of milk your body makes. If the formula is nourishing your baby, why would your body even need to produce milk?

The third mistake was skipping pumping sessions.  I started off pumping every time that my baby was fed a bottle. However, I slowly started to give my baby more bottles throughout the day and my pumping sessions grew further apart. If my baby was at a sitter, I might not have pumped to mimic my baby's feeding schedule. I ended up breastfeeding 75% of the time and giving formula the other 25%. My body was only used to making enough milk to feed my baby 75% of the time.

I started to worry and look into ways to boost my milk supply. I tried Fenugreek and More Milk Plus by Motherlove herbs (shown above) known to boost milk production but it did not work for me. You have to take a lot of capsules in order for the herbs to be effective and I simply could not keep up.

Eventually my milk supply completely dried up and I was left with only formula to feed my baby. I remember the last time feeding my daughter and it was one of my saddest memories ever. I lost that connection and special bonding experience that only mothers get to cherish. I was very disappointed with myself. Therefore, I am very adamant about strictly breastfeeding my second baby. I do not want to make any mistakes.

View on Amazon.

Current Breastfeeding Goals:

1. Minimal to no bottle feeding until I return to work.
2. No formula ever.
3. Pump directly after feedings to boost milk supply. 
4. Keep a large milk supply in freezer.
5. Continue nursing for at least one year. 

At 7 weeks of age, my baby boy is nursing extremely well. It is exhausting to feed him around the clock, but I know how important it is to my son's health and my well being. I have grown to truly enjoy looking into his little alert eyes between 1:00-5:00am!

When I return to work full time, I plan on pumping at work a minimum of three times per shift, as many times as allowed. Then I would like to continue nursing at home. I don't want to lose that special bond and I want to do everything possible to keep a stable milk production that fulfills my baby's needs. I plan on taking Fenugreek herbal supplements just in case. I would also like to try the special teas that help boost milk production too. I will probably choose either Organic Milkmaid Tea or Mother's Milk Tea. Amazon has pretty good deals so I will be purchasing the tea soon, before returning to work. 

I am fully optimistic that I will be successful this time. I have a Medela Pump In Style Advanced with the On the Go Tote. I initially had an Ameda Purely Yours breast pump, which was the worst pump ever. More on that later. But if I do run into the slightest problem upon returning to work and breastfeeding, I will attend a breastfeeding support group and/or speak with a lactation consultant immediately.

I will not fail! I am keeping my fingers crossed for luck. If anybody has any additional breastfeeding advice, especially about returning to work, please share below! It would be greatly appreciated.  

Life Update: Three Weeks as a Family of Four

We are slowly but surely figuring out life with a newborn and a toddler. Miss A went through a bit of a reversal period in her "big girl" behaviors but has already steadily regained them. We are both sleep deprived to the max and feel like it will never end. However, we have a healthy boy who seems to be adjusting fairly well to life outside the womb!

Oliver does have some stomach issues like excessive gas and possibly constipation. He has plenty of wet and stool diapers daily but he is always grunting and making odd faces. Sometimes his stomach gets rock hard and he seems to be uncomfortable. We have given him gripe to help relieve his stomach pains (and hiccups) but we are going to talk to his doctor about it soon. He doesn't cry for long periods of time though. I can pull his legs up close to his stomach and/or simply lay him on his stomach to relieve a lot of gas. I feel like these are normal baby problems but I never experienced these issues with Miss A.

He eats well and often. I am breastfeeding him every 2-3 hours around the clock. He is a good sleeper... but has his nights and days mixed up. He sleeps a good 16+ hours a day like the average baby.

Miss A really likes her little brother. She likes holding him and giving him kisses. She also loves being mommy's big girl helper. She needs to throw every diaper away and bring me anything I want... from diapers and burp clothes to lanolin and nursing pads. She is such a great help.

The first two weeks with Oliver were overwhelming for everybody. Miss A was getting woken up by Oliver's cries around 4-5am. She would stay awake and then both of them would take turns crying once the other fell asleep. It was probably the most miserable part of this whole experience so far. Miss A also started having some accidents and went potty in her pants about five times. She told us that she needed to go potty and then refused to go. She also started refusing to try to go potty before naps and bedtime. Luckily her sleep and potty issues are subsiding and she is back to being a big girl. We threatened to put diapers on her and that pretty much did the trick!

Daddy had only a few days off while we were in the hospital and then a weekend off after Oliver was born. He is sleep deprived and has people at work asking if he is okay... I am the one who wakes up all night and does the feedings and diaper changes but unfortunately he is a light sleeper. He hears Oliver cry, grunt, cough, poop, fart, etc. Oliver will sleep between feedings about 75% of the time but he tends to have a solid, awake period around midnight and an occasional awake period sometime in the early morning. It makes it hard for Bill to get a solid night of sleep before a long day of work. Last night was rough and he only got a solid one hour of sleep before he left had to wake up at 4:30am for a 12 hour shift. He left a note on the counter that said the following:

Monny, 

I have gone away for an extended period of pain and suffering. See you at dinner time. 

Love, Bill. 

My poor hubby. :( Not sure what to do about his sleep deprivation other than have him sleep in another room or at another house occasionally... 

Mommy's update is rather inflated right now because I just had a cup of coffee. I am beyond exhausted and getting plain irritated by waking up every 2-3 hours for what has now been three weeks. Let's rewrite that. I HAVE BEEN AWAKE EVERY 1.5-3 HOURS FOR 21 CONSECUTIVE DAYS. (And I do not see an end in the near future!!) This has resulted in many meltdowns and moments of despair. Then, I grudgingly make coffee, take a few sips, and realize that Oh, it's not so bad. I can do this.

Besides the normal, must-fight-through-and-conquer sleep deprivation part of raising a newborn baby, I have numerous additional complaints that I feel is necessary to release into the World Wide Web. 

Ready. Set. Go. 

I am tired of sensitive, engorged breasts that constantly soak my bed sheets at night with milk. I am tired of sore nipples though thankfully they are not cracked or bleeding. I am tired of having to take a shower every morning to rid the sticky, milk stench that coats my body. (I hate daily showers right now because it means my hair will be a complete mess without spending at least 30 minutes of time on it. I don't have that kind of motivation. I can't simply put my hair up because I have a constant headache... Shower cap? Ugh.) I am tired of being skinny again and still not able to wear clothes due to breastfeeding. It's cold and I am tired of never having a shirt on. I am tired of having to wear a bra 24/7. I am like a milk fountain without it! Did I mention my breastfeeding goal is one year? I am tired of my flabby body and desperately want to start working out again. I am tired of the constant headaches I keep getting and can't rid due to lack of sleep. My carpel tunnel syndrome symptoms are returning once again so now I have to make time for 25 minutes of daily wrist/elbow exercises. I am just tired and desperately need 4 or 5 hours of sleep in a row to recover. 

Now that most of my complaints are out, I am still happy to be a family of four! I feel very blessed to have a beautiful, angel bug daughter and a squeaky, puppy-like son. I will be much happier once I can truly bond with my children after getting a little more sleep. [[Even if I sleep all day and night and simply wake up every 2-3 hours, it does not help! I NEED CONSECUTIVE HOURS OF SLEEP!!! And I am stubborn so until I get that I will not be happy. Okay, untrue... But still.]] I am happy to officially know that I only want 2 children and can 100% agree with my husband on that. :) I am VERY excited about getting a more permanent-- long term-- no pill or shot type of birth control. The kind that lasts five years... Then we can do the permanent option after that... 

I hope I have not offended anybody on my realistic update of life with a newborn again//family of four. It is definitely not all sunshine and lollipops as others' Facebook updates make it appear!! But there are those beautiful moments as well. Like right now, Oliver is sleeping through a case of the hiccups in a super cozy outfit. He is adorable and melts my heart a lot of the time. 

My Experience Using Fenugreek

I feel guilty and ashamed to be feeding Miss A so much formula! She's only four months and I am almost unable to nurse her... :( I tried using Fenugreek a month ago to help with this situation. Fenugreek is an herb that's supposed to help increase milk supply and help maintain the overall health of your breasts. The first two weeks I took two 500mg capsules three times a day, as directed by the bottle. I was really good about not forgetting to take it because I was desperate to increase my milk supply. It made me smell sweet. [sweeter than I already am! pff..] Sweet like maple syrup. I could smell it especially if I did some type of exercise. It was like I was sweating maple syrup. How pleasant! Anyways after two weeks of taking this herb, there was no noticeable change in my milk supply. :( I might have messed it up by starting an eight hour work day but I pumped consistently. Once at 7:30am, 12:00pm, 4:15pm, and then every 2-3hrs after until bedtime which is around 10-11pm. After two weeks, I kinda lost hope already and only took two capsules once or twice each day for another week or two. But now I have officially stopped all together. I still pump consistently but I only get about 3-4 ounces per day. THAT IS BAD. Let me repeat. THAT IS REALLY BAD. I keep thinking, "Okay, so for the next baby I will know how to keep up my milk supply. I won't supplement as many bottles of formula too early. I won't stop pumping consistently. During the first month when my milk supply is ridiculous and I am LOADED with milk, I will pump like crazy!" I just feel bad because I want to keep giving Miss A breast milk, especially since winter is coming. Colds and flues get passed around more often when it's cold so I want Miss A to have as much protection against viruses as possible! I will keep pumping and trying but Fenugreek has failed me.

I still do have hope that Fenugreek may work for other women. I might not have pumped enough to stimulate milk production. My diet hasn't been the greatest/healthiest lately. Lastly, I don't know if I have been drinking enough fluids or not...

What is really nice and comforting is that I can still nurse Miss A each morning when she wakes up. I never thought I would miss breastfeeding but I really do! It's our snuggle time. It's mommy-baby time. :( I'm hoping to be able to keep it up until she's at least six months old! That is my goal-- hope I'm successful!

Breastfeeding Crisis at 3 Months

I am having a major crisis. I feel like I am failing as a mother because I have fallen into the "convenience trap" of formula feeding. This past month, I gave Miss A so many bottles of formula that I'm beginning to dry up! I haven't been devoting my time to breastfeeding like I should be doing. Miss A used to nurse really well every morning. Now I can hardly get her to nurse for longer than one minute. Originally, I set a three month breastfeeding goal for myself. I achieved it but now I feel that it is my responsibility as a mother to give her breast milk until she is at least six months old. I know that breast milk is the best thing for her. It's much better than formula and since I am able to produce milk for her, I shouldn't stop simply because it's easier and faster to heat up a bottle and put powder in it.

In order to get myself back on the right track, I am going to start supplementing my diet with 500mg capsules of Fenugreek. It is an herb that is supposed to help nursing women increase their milk supply. I am also going to focus on drinking lots of water. Today specifically, I am doing power pumping sessions. I'm basically pumping every hour. It's VERY time consuming but I really want to give Miss A more breast milk than formula.

I have already started a post on "My Experience Using Fenugreek" so I can let everyone know whether or not it is effecting my milk supply. I plan to update everyone on my progress once each week. As of now I do not know how long I plan on taking it.

Wish me luck!

My First 2 Weeks of Breastfeeding

Mommy & 3 day old Miss A

Let me begin by saying, motherhood would be ten times more enjoyable if I could get at least a five hour stretch of sleep throughout the night... For some reason, I wasn't anticipating the true meaning of sleep deprivation. Miss A is hungry every 2-3 hours for the most part. However, I think she just went through her first official growth spurt because she was hungry every single hour yesterday! Feeding her is getting very tiring. I have to remind myself that her tummy is very small & breast milk digests faster than formula, making her hungry more often.

Overall I don't really mind breastfeeding because it is easier than getting up and making warm bottles every 2-3 hours. As soon as she was born, the doctor handed her to me and I fed her. She latched on perfectly the first try. The first week she ate for 15 minutes on each side. That was good! Now she goes for about 10 minutes on each side or only 15 minutes on one side. I have no clue the amount of milk she is actually getting but I assume it's the right amount because she has gained her birth weight back and is definitely over 8lbs now. She also has plenty of wet & dirty diapers!

I like breastfeeding because I know it's the healthiest choice for Miss A. Like I already mentioned, there is nothing to prepare when she is hungry. If someone is around I just go somewhere private to feed her. Otherwise, I usually spend the entire day in my bra. It's easier. I also like breastfeeding because it is really great bonding time. Sometimes she is just sleepy and falls asleep, but other times she is wide-eyed and staring up at me while she eats. It's precious. <3 It's also nice to know breastfeeding has many health benefits for the both of us, including helping me burn off my leftover 15lbs from pregnancy!

Breastfeeding is not my favorite thing because my boobs are sore! It might be getting better... but I really don't think so. I'm pretty sure that she latches on correctly and it's just my body taking forever to adjust! I use lanolin after every feeding and so far have not had any bleeding/cracking issues. [That just sounds terrible!!!] The worst part is when my boobs are engorged & they're filled to the max with milk. I pump sometimes if Miss A is not hungry but I don't want to increase my milk supply by pumping in between feedings. Sometimes if she waits a good 3-4 hours before getting hungry, I pump an ounce of milk from each side before feeding her. This way she doesn't struggle for so long trying to latch on. It's also less painful for me. [BTW, I use the Medela Swing Breast Pump and it works wonders! I can't image using a hand pump... mainly bc I pump one side while feeding her on the other side... I am getting better at multi-tasking!] In general breastfeeding does not hurt, it's just the initial latching on! Several nurses told me that the pain from this will go away soon. [Still waiting...] Another inconvenience is choosing which clothes are easiest to breastfeed while wearing. I personally think it is harder to find clothes to wear while breastfeeding, compared to my third trimester of pregnancy.

Regardless of the self sacrifices I have to make in order to breastfeed [and take care of my child forever...!] I feel obligated and want to continue breastfeeding. My goal is to breastfeed solely, no formula for at least 3 months. I will do a reassessment at that point. It really depends on whether or not I find a career job that is worth having. I have to like it and make enough money to see if it's worth paying for a babysitter and losing precious childhood moments 40 hours a week.