September 18, 2013

How Many Children Should I Have?

My husband and I both only want to have two kids... Even though we mutually agree on this, I keep feeling guilty or sad about this being my last pregnancy. Rationally, I know that I only want two kids. Biologically, I have some deep womanly urge to have more children. How many children do you want?

Photo by Gerald Herbert taken from this source.

Benefits of only having 2 children:
  • We have a girl and are expecting a boy. We get both experiences. 
  • No third, fourth, or fifth pregnancies to experience annoying pregnancy aches and pains.
  • My body will be better off limiting myself to only two childbirths!
  • Kids will have more time, less competition for our time.
  • No middle child... It may be a rumor, but I hear that middle child syndrome is no fun. 
  • It will cost less money than having more kids. 
    • Kids will be able to do more sport and club activities without entirely draining our bank accounts.
    • We can give more physically because we will only have to split money between two kids. 
    • Family vacations will be cheaper.
    • "Kids eat free" deals at restaurants usually only include free meals for up to two children.
    • Only have to pay daycare for two children. 
    • We would like to help pay for college since we both are incredibly sinking in student debt. Any more than two children would entirely erase this option. (unless we win the lottery of course)
  • They will always be able to have their own bedroom. 
  • Will only be a taxi cab driver for activities associated with two kids. More kids=more driving time.
  • Smaller economic footprint. Only replacing you and your spouse and therefore not contributing to the exponentially growing human population that will soon not be able to be supported on Earth. (Extreme? Maybe, maybe not.) Also, there will be even more pollution and waste with more people.
  • Children move out of the house sooner. If we stop having children now and our children move out by the age of 18, we will still be plenty young to enjoy our new found freedom. 43-44 years old. 
Cons of  only having 2 children:
  • Smaller family. 
  • Everyone else seems to be having more than two children... might feel baby blues intensely.
  • Only two miracles of human life being witnessed at the maximum potential. 

Benefits of having 3 or 4 children:
  • It might help eliminate the "Baby Blues" feeling that arises when our children grow out of the newborn stage. We should feel that we had plenty of newborn baby exposure. 
  • Bigger family. Possibly a bigger support system. More love to give.
  • Potentially more grandchildren in the future. 
  • You have a better chance at raising both a boy and girl. (People often don't enjoy this benefit though, having 4 boys or 4 girls instead!)
  • You get to learn even more with extra children and their life perspectives.
  • More birthday parties. Those are always fun in my opinion.
Cons of having 3 or 4 children: 
  • Costs more: more expensive vacations, holidays, clothing, food, sports & clubs, school expenses, etc. 
  • More diapers to change & buy. More terrible twos. More potty training disasters. 
  • More arguments. More chaos.
  • More pregnancies and baby deliveries. More pain. Destroyed body. 
  • Longer parenting time.
  • Longer amount of time until all your children move of the house. 

It would be interesting to compare these lists with my husband's point of view. I'm 100% sure that he only wants two children. He says that he doesn't want to watch me go through another pregnancy since I complain all the time. To him, it's simple. If I don't like all these pregnancy symptoms and all the hard work of having more than two children, then why bother? I don't agree with his thinking. There is no emotional investment in his point of view. Men. Pfff!

Anyways, after creating these lists I still only logically want two children. But for now, we (I) will keep it open for discussion as we watch our next baby grow into his toddler years. We still have plenty of time since we are only (almost) 25 and 26.

I'm sure many people disagree on my opinions of the pros and cons of having a certain number of children. PLEASE leave comments below with your opinions! I would LOVE to hear them! :) I'm always happy to hear new perspectives and thoughts.


  1. There are pros and cons to any set up, I guess. I come from a small family, and sometimes wish I had more brothers or sisters.

    You're both still young anyway. Who knows, even if you want just two kids, life might surprise you and give you 4 :)

    Good luck with your pregnancy :). Take care.

    1. That's a good point too. My children might wish they had more siblings. I have a very large family (half and steps only) with like 10 siblings... something like that. So I see the value in having a smaller family unit. Less obligations and more time to spend quality time with each child. You are right though, we might have future surprise babies! Oh boy..
      Thanks for your thoughts.


Thanks for reading!
xx Monica xx

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