June 18, 2011
Ease of Self Consciousness
Normally I am fairly self-conscious and try my best to look well everyday unless I don't go out in public all day. This means I make my hair presentable, dress nicely, and put on at least some eye liner. But lately, as I've become more and more pregnant I don't care as much about what other people think of me. This is relieving because I can just get up and go out in public without worrying too much about my hair, etc. Maybe it's because I feel so huge already that I can't improve my looks that much anyways??? I don't know but I went out garage saling early this morning with my hair flowing everywhere like crazy [lots of frizz/waves] and it didn't bother me. I went to the beach today and I didn't care too much about my stretch marks & baby belly being present. AND I didn't care about my legs peeling. I am always concerned about the appearance of peeling skin in the summer and my worries never even came this year. Another big thing I usually worry about is my tan lines. I could care less this summer about what my tan lines look like. I was sporting about 5 different tan lines last month... crisscross, halter, normal spaghetti straps, etc. I even had a pair of "white shorts" underneath my bikini bottoms. I didn't care. It could be because I am just too tired too worry about such petty things. Or that I clearly have better things to occupy my mind with like What do I do with my baby girl once she's born... and all the normal first time parent worries. Regardless I do like the easing off of my self-consciousness. It can get pretty cruel sometimes.