You know you're a new mom... when you have 2+ bottles of spoiled milk lying around your house... and you don't care.
When all your pants & shirts have baby goop all over them... and you don't care.
When your brain stops working and turns to goo.
When you forget to brush your teeth in the morning and don't realize it until the next day.
When 3 hours of sleep is rejuvenating, 4 hours of sleep is a miracle, and 5 hours of sleep is heaven.
When your boobs turn into milk machines and demand your labor 24/7.
When you no longer understand what is going on with your body.
When the nursery has more things jam packed into it than everything else in the house combined.
When you haven't seen the sunshine in days...weeks... has it been months already?
When your favorite daily outfit is underwear... maybe some shorts.
When you think a high pitched, "GOOOOOO" is the coolest sound ever!
When daddy tries to help prepare the baby's food and THIS happens instead...
When taking a shower feels like heaven... as long as daddy is there to watch the baby.
When taking a shower feels like hell because the baby is in her bouncy chair screaming her lungs off while you slab some bar soap all over your body AND HAIR...
When you can't go to the bathroom without feeling like you're delivering a baby again.
When you look like a train wreck 24/7.
When your baby makes a weird (new) facial expression or sound, and you're already on the phone with her nurse.
When your baby is coughing and you check her temperature every hour.
When you think life would be easier going back to a "full-time" job.
When you stare down anyone who says "It would be so easy to be a stay-at-home mom".
When you start obsessing over baby toys, clothes, cribs, diapers, breastfeeding, formula, parenting subjects, etc... You even create a blog about it.