Poem: Losing My Grandma

At first there was nothing
Just the thought of deep sorrow,
Concern of feeling numb to the pain, 
Agony of being unable to cry

Months and months pass but still nothing
Only the harsh realization
She is dead
My grandmother is dead

I will never see her again
Not in this lifetime anyway
And I'm only twenty three years in
What if I'm stuck another seventy?

Unfelt emotions begin to surface
Intense pain and depression sink in
I force a couple of tears
Has she really disappeared forever?

A thunderstorm of rage erupts
Gut wrenching aches spread like fire
I scream into my pillow
Feeling hopeless for my own survival

Soon enough nausea forces the storm to let up
Fatigue tricks my body into sleep
The dark clouds are clearing away
And my heavy mind disappears

I wake to a shocking silence
The eerie peace of the eye has come
Confused by the previous night's outburst
I continue on once again with nothing

—Monica


Read my first reflection on Losing My Grandma.